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Being the first born child really sucks!

Since I was a little girl I have always been the good girl. I secretly wish that this tag was never stuck on my small little back. From those early days I have done nothing but please other people, live up to their expectations and do my best to be the “good” daughter. It has honestly made me regret being the first born. It is true most parents expect their first born to live up to unattainable goals. My parents never imposed unrealistic career goals, or superstar of a sports team. Yet here I was the “good” daughter. Never breaking the rules. Never staying out past curfew. Never drinking or doing drugs. Never letting them down. My sister on the other hand has done all of this. She has lived how she wants to. She has tried most everything, broke most rules and lived to experience the other side. The side I never ventured. I have secrets, grown up secrets that of course I could never share. Still to this day my sister calls me “goodie goodie”. Not giving citizen, supportive sister, fantastic mother, virtuous daughter or helpful friend. No it is “goodie goodie”. A name I despise. A name that does not do justice to all the sacrifices I have made over the years to be the “bigger” person as my parents would say when she was not getitng her way. So what is my secret? I love my sister, well that is no secret I kind of have to. My secret is that sometimes I wish I could be her, to be the one to get away with everything. To be the one that does not have to calm the storms but makes them. The one that does the best she can, and does not have to be the BEST!

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