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Archive for the ‘Childhood’ Category

Being the first born child really sucks!

Sunday, July 24th, 2011

Since I was a little girl I have always been the good girl. I secretly wish that this tag was never stuck on my small little back. From those early days I have done nothing but please other people, live up to their expectations and do my best to be the “good” daughter. It has honestly made me regret being the first born. It is true most parents expect their first born to live up to unattainable goals. My parents never imposed unrealistic career goals, or superstar of a sports team. Yet here I was the “good” daughter. Never breaking the rules. Never staying out past curfew. Never drinking or doing drugs. Never letting them down. My sister on the other hand has done all of this. She has lived how she wants to. She has tried most everything, broke most rules and lived to experience the other side. The side I never ventured. I have secrets, grown up secrets that of course I could never share. Still to this day my sister calls me “goodie goodie”. Not giving citizen, supportive sister, fantastic mother, virtuous daughter or helpful friend. No it is “goodie goodie”. A name I despise. A name that does not do justice to all the sacrifices I have made over the years to be the “bigger” person as my parents would say when she was not getitng her way. So what is my secret? I love my sister, well that is no secret I kind of have to. My secret is that sometimes I wish I could be her, to be the one to get away with everything. To be the one that does not have to calm the storms but makes them. The one that does the best she can, and does not have to be the BEST!

Sexual acts with my stepsister: fantasies and handjobs

Friday, March 11th, 2011

I am a 23 year old girl from Surrey, and have done many things I am not proud of. One thing that always bothers me is engaging in sexual acts with my stepsister when I was 16. She is also the same age as me and as teenage hormone filled girls, we have always talked about sex, fantasies, boys and what not. We acted on many of our fantasies like acting out stuff like rape scenes, bondage, hooking up with strangers as threesome. We both masturbated and gave each other handjobs. I don’t know why we did it. I think we learned most of this stuff from her father, because he molested us both when we were kids. We had to complain at the school about it because our parents didn’t listen. Now we’re all separated and I am just starting to realize how wrong and messed-up my relationship with my stepsister was. I believe in God, and I’m afraid he will send me to hell. I worry that I won’t be forgiven, and I feel so horrible about it because the whole time we did it I knew it was wrong.

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Can’t sleep alone in Edmonton

Sunday, October 31st, 2010

I am 25 and I get scared sleeping alone. When I had my own apartment it got so bad I had to put my bed into the living room. I’d sleep with a knife by my bed and wake up at night staring at the door sweating.

My dad abused me when I was a child!

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

Thanks for the site. I have never told anyone about the abuse I took from my dad both sexually and emotionally. I hate him for what he did to me and he was alcoholic. Not only that he asked me if he could kill himself so he wouldn’t feel guilty about what he was doing to me. I had to watch him drinking away his life when I was 10. Now I drink all the time to burry what happened to me when I was younger. I am not able to be in a relationship because of him. He is dead now but I don’t cry because he died, but I cry because of what he did to me when I was 12. I can’t socialize or do anything with my friends in Prince George so I have virtual friends to fill that void. Some days I wish I was dead.

I was abused when I was a child in Prince George, BC!

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

I have been in foster homes since I was 3 years old. My biological dad died in a car accident and my biological mom ended up doing drugs. Then of course social services found out about that and they put me up with foster parents.

I remember, once I was 7 and washing some dishes. Water was hot and soap was making it slippery so I accidently broke one glass. I was locked up in the closet for 2 days. It was scary. I was little and it was dark. I never want to remember those things but still I want everyone to know about it.

Please STOP child abuse. Even though we foster kids still we are human beings.