Katherine – everyday I regret that I didn’t say “yes” to you when you asked me to marry you. I think of you every day and you occupy most of my day – or at least a very large part of it. It’s far too late now.

I regret that I walked out of the house and never turned around again. You are the most beautiful woman that has ever walked the Earth and every woman I see can not measure up to you in any facet. All the women on Earth combined do not amount to even half of you. I love you. I miss you very much.

My life is nothing without you. You were my reason for living and now I am dead because I walked away and because I said “no”. There are very few things I ever regret doing. This ranks at the very top. No matter how many other women I have met, I compare each and every one of them to you and they can never measure up. If by chance you should ever read this – wherever you are, be assured that I never stopped loving you. I never will.

I wish you the best – wherever you are. My life is messed because I didn’t commit to you. 20 years later – you are the only woman who is on my mind – all the time and no amount of drugs or alcohol or work or anything else can take it away. If I had a chance to do it all over – I would not walk away. I would have stayed – as hard as it was. I would have stayed. I’ve created my own hell by simply not being with you – because I was insecure about what I can offer you.

You offered me everything and now I have nothing. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and how beautiful you were. I will never smile again. There is a permanent disdain look in my face because of my decision and I hate it. I regret that I couldn’t be the one you needed when you needed me.

With love always.

Vic

We live in California and this past weekend my girlfriend and I ended up fooling around with another couple that we met on Ashley Madison affair site. Aftermath of reality is not going well for us. We didn’t expect it to be so hard to take. The fantasy of seeing my girlfriend sexually involved with another guy seemed hot at first and then reality set in. We both had to stop when we were doing the deed with this other couple. I don’t think this is going to hurt our love for one another in the long run (well, I hope not) but we know now the difference between the fantasy and the reality. She is really having a hard time believing what she tried to do and her morals are not strong enough for this type of lifestyle. I am trying to blame it on the drinking because it was was a big part and influence of this encounter that day. My advice all those who are trying out this swinging lifestyle, take one step at a time. Meet your potential match at a bar, flirt, then go from there. We thought we were swingers and ready for this lifestyle but we learned the hard way that we are not.

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I am 21 year old female now living in Vancouver. I was an escort at 18 when I was in Prince George and then moved to Nanaimo making 600-1000 a day. I only did it for 8 months but those eight months were the lowest, most depressing 8 months of my life. I was kicked out of my house, thrown out into the real world with no money, just desperate to get myself together. My step mom and dad both threw me out just before Christmas and it was cold and I was totally broken. I considered stripping, but I was stage-shy and the places in Prince George were not classy for stripping. Then I decided that escorting would be more private and more money. I had no idea how much I was hurting myself or how I was ruining my future. I would get drunk or high before any “date” and would silently cry during the dirty deed. I was not associated with any agencies in town like thekaliproject or blackorchid. I would use Craigslist to find people. I have been with married guys, single guys or guys who just wanted to get off. I have been with old, young, middle-aged guys too. Most of the encounters happened in cars or in a motel room. I realized within few days I would be regretting it, but the money would temporarily cheer me up, until I would have to do it again.

At the time I didn’t feel anything but now I realize I hated how addicting the money was, but I just kept giving myself away to these dirty men who didn’t understand and didn’t care about what I was going through.  I then moved to Nanaimo for a change of scenery. But it was same old same old. I found older guys, married guys, and younger guys looking to get off quickly by using me at their convenience. I know I put myself in the position, but I was just young and careless. If I knew how it was going to affect me psychologically and emotionally, and that it was going to eventually leave me with STD, of course I wouldn’t have done it. I completely disrespected myself, my body. I feel dirty no matter how many times I shower. I can never forget what I did and I can really never forgive myself.

This is my story. I hope before you chose this life style please think. Times can be tough at times but be true to yourself.

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When I was a teenager and growing up in Orlando Florida, I got pregnant with my 16 year old boyfriend at the time. I thought I was in love and got intimate without protections. After I got pregnant, I was talked into an abortion my boyfriend. My family disowned me after I got pregnant and I was very scared at the time. When we went to that clinic they did no counseling before the procedure. I didn’t realize what abortion was until I got one and it was too late to stop. I have cried about for about a year and I can’t let go of what I did. I still wake up at night with nightmares. I have prayed to God for forgiveness but I can’t seem to forgive myself. I will never do something so selfish again. If I could go back to that day I would change it. I regret this abortion all the time. It was 22 years ago!

I am a retired journalist living in Arizona. Over the years, I have written a lot of things that pissed many people off. Some of the time, I had no choice. Some of the time, these people had it coming. But other times, I might have gone a little hard on some people for the benefit of my articles and in attempt to please my boss. I knew it was unethical journalism but I still did it. I now regret it. I wish I was an honest journalist. I was very successful in my reporting but now all those seem so lame. Journalism is a strange thing, a big ocean full of currents. Sometimes you get sucked under. I am thinking of set the record straight. I am thinking of blow the whistle on myself.