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Archive for the ‘Regret’ Category

I regret I was an escort!

Saturday, January 8th, 2011

I am 21 year old female now living in Vancouver. I was an escort at 18 when I was in Prince George and then moved to Nanaimo making 600-1000 a day. I only did it for 8 months but those eight months were the lowest, most depressing 8 months of my life. I was kicked out of my house, thrown out into the real world with no money, just desperate to get myself together. My step mom and dad both threw me out just before Christmas and it was cold and I was totally broken. I considered stripping, but I was stage-shy and the places in Prince George were not classy for stripping. Then I decided that escorting would be more private and more money. I had no idea how much I was hurting myself or how I was ruining my future. I would get drunk or high before any “date” and would silently cry during the dirty deed. I was not associated with any agencies in town like thekaliproject or blackorchid. I would use Craigslist to find people. I have been with married guys, single guys or guys who just wanted to get off. I have been with old, young, middle-aged guys too. Most of the encounters happened in cars or in a motel room. I realized within few days I would be regretting it, but the money would temporarily cheer me up, until I would have to do it again.

At the time I didn’t feel anything but now I realize I hated how addicting the money was, but I just kept giving myself away to these dirty men who didn’t understand and didn’t care about what I was going through.  I then moved to Nanaimo for a change of scenery. But it was same old same old. I found older guys, married guys, and younger guys looking to get off quickly by using me at their convenience. I know I put myself in the position, but I was just young and careless. If I knew how it was going to affect me psychologically and emotionally, and that it was going to eventually leave me with STD, of course I wouldn’t have done it. I completely disrespected myself, my body. I feel dirty no matter how many times I shower. I can never forget what I did and I can really never forgive myself.

This is my story. I hope before you chose this life style please think. Times can be tough at times but be true to yourself.

I still regret having an abortion

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

When I was a teenager and growing up in Orlando Florida, I got pregnant with my 16 year old boyfriend at the time. I thought I was in love and got intimate without protections. After I got pregnant, I was talked into an abortion my boyfriend. My family disowned me after I got pregnant and I was very scared at the time. When we went to that clinic they did no counseling before the procedure. I didn’t realize what abortion was until I got one and it was too late to stop. I have cried about for about a year and I can’t let go of what I did. I still wake up at night with nightmares. I have prayed to God for forgiveness but I can’t seem to forgive myself. I will never do something so selfish again. If I could go back to that day I would change it. I regret this abortion all the time. It was 22 years ago!

Confession of an unethical journalist

Sunday, January 2nd, 2011

I am a retired journalist living in Arizona. Over the years, I have written a lot of things that pissed many people off. Some of the time, I had no choice. Some of the time, these people had it coming. But other times, I might have gone a little hard on some people for the benefit of my articles and in attempt to please my boss. I knew it was unethical journalism but I still did it. I now regret it. I wish I was an honest journalist. I was very successful in my reporting but now all those seem so lame. Journalism is a strange thing, a big ocean full of currents. Sometimes you get sucked under. I am thinking of set the record straight. I am thinking of blow the whistle on myself.

I regret not having children earlier

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

I am 37 and had a former beau, love of my life, in my early twenties. We met in college and were planning our future together. I decided I wanted to wait to get married and have kids because I wanted to focus on my career at the time and just living life. The love of my life died in a car accident. I have never found anyone that I connected with so deeply ever since and never had children. Another thought that weighs deeply on my conscious is the probable fact that if we did get married sooner etc., that would have changed everything in our lives and he would have likely never been in that car accident and still be alive. We were engaged for almost two years when I lost him. I missed out on a decent fulfilling life because of my fears and doubts. Now I regret it. Life is too short. I still miss you Jake!

Regret, I cheated on my ex wife

Monday, December 27th, 2010

Six months ago I got married to my now wife. We both had an affair with each other on adult friend finder. I was not happy in my relationship and she was not happy in hers. So we both ended up cheating on our spouses. At first we had a fling from Meet Locals and then as fate would have it we again met from Ashley Madison in Vancouver. Of course thinking it was the “fate” we both decided to continue our relationship. We eventually got married. She was a very sexy, attentive lover and a very sweet person who act like she had plenty in common with me. She would say she likes to watch the football; she likes to go fishing and stuff like that those I am interested in. I thought I found my soul mate. Her daughter, however, would ask me if I was sure I wanted to marry her mother. I would say, yes, of course. Little did I know why she was asking those things?

As soon as we got married she flipped. For no apparent reason she stopped having sex with me. She never touches me. She stays on the computer at all times. I know the circumstances on how we met. We both cheated in our previous relationships, but I don’t know if this all a game to her. When she comes home she goes straight to the computer. She doesn’t even speak to anyone in the house. She doesn’t drink or smoke so I am not sure what is going on. Her daughter wants me to adopt her and divorce her mother so she can leave us alone. She is a terrible mother and a terrible wife. I don’t like her at all. I wish life was simple. Some days now I miss my previous relationship. I miss my ex and regret cheating on her. I wish I never cheated.

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