Katherine – everyday I regret that I didn’t say “yes” to you when you asked me to marry you. I think of you every day and you occupy most of my day – or at least a very large part of it. It’s far too late now.

I regret that I walked out of the house and never turned around again. You are the most beautiful woman that has ever walked the Earth and every woman I see can not measure up to you in any facet. All the women on Earth combined do not amount to even half of you. I love you. I miss you very much.

My life is nothing without you. You were my reason for living and now I am dead because I walked away and because I said “no”. There are very few things I ever regret doing. This ranks at the very top. No matter how many other women I have met, I compare each and every one of them to you and they can never measure up. If by chance you should ever read this – wherever you are, be assured that I never stopped loving you. I never will.

I wish you the best – wherever you are. My life is messed because I didn’t commit to you. 20 years later – you are the only woman who is on my mind – all the time and no amount of drugs or alcohol or work or anything else can take it away. If I had a chance to do it all over – I would not walk away. I would have stayed – as hard as it was. I would have stayed. I’ve created my own hell by simply not being with you – because I was insecure about what I can offer you.

You offered me everything and now I have nothing. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and how beautiful you were. I will never smile again. There is a permanent disdain look in my face because of my decision and I hate it. I regret that I couldn’t be the one you needed when you needed me.

With love always.

Vic

I’ve been trying online dating, going to a few different websites, putting up similar profiles and online chatting. Until really recently, I’ve been very hesitant to send out pictures of myself other than the head shot I use, but I’ve got nice boobs. I’m really happy with them and since I’m not super happy with too much else about my body, I wanted to show them off. So, I took a couple of pictures of myself with different bras on and when a guy asked about my boobs (which inevitably happens), I’d send him some pics. I got good feedback on those pictures, really good feedback. And it was flattering and the praise was a little addictive. And I didn’t really think there was anything wrong with it, I mean it was titillating and a bit risqué but not harmful in anyway.

But I’m crossed another line recently. I’ve started to skype chat with a guy in another city and I’ve been doing more than just sending him pictures of my breasts. It started more as an experiment to see if his webcam was working and I was a little tipsy after a night at a friend’s. One thing led to another and pretty soon I was flashing him my naked boobs and giggling about it. The next night was the same, except I got a little dressed up, or well maybe undressed up would be a better term. I put on a sexier nightie, and nice underwear and during our chat, casually took off my nightie. And touched my boobs, fondling them, playing with them while he watched. I teased him with fairly predictable results. And it was so much fun, I did it the next night too. I think I’m going to keep chatting with and stripping for him. It’s sexy and it’s fun and in this day and age probably the safest kind of sex in the world

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So, I’m not really proud of myself for this. I’m not exactly ashamed either, but it’s something I never, ever thought I would do. I’ve been seeing two guys – for the sake of clarity let’s call them Steve and Dan – not seriously and very casually but there hadn’t been any overlap. I’d see Steve on one day, Dan another day and while I started sleeping with both of them, both knew I was seeing other people and we were careful. This didn’t last long before I decided that two guys was too much. I just didn’t have time for both so I decided to tell Steve that I couldn’t see him anymore, that my life was just too complicated and that I felt bad, but we had to break things off. He took it pretty well, probably ‘cause I had sex with him as a kind of goodbye and here’s where things take a turn. I did not plan to do this, I had no idea I was going to do this, but when Dan texted me to come over that same night (I’d seen Steve in the afternoon), I went over and we had sex. It was wild and passionate and really hot because it felt really naughty. I’d been having sex with someone else only hours before and now there was a new guy inside me, new hands on my breasts, a new tongue in my mouth. I felt dirty and powerful, but I am never going to do that again.

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I am a married woman…I have been married to my husband for 7 years, he works out of town a lot, that is the job he has takes him out of town a lot, and I know when he is out of town, he cheats on me, I know, he denies it, but I know he does. I know I am not taking care of him sexually, that is because he does not “let” me, he does not want to do certain things with me, for what ever reason, I am game for anything, we are husband and wife, why not….but our intamacy is lacking, so I know he does certain kind of women to full fill what ever it is he is after, I know what he likes, but again, he does not want it from me. We have a bad sex life, (unless we are drunk) and I am sure boredom has set in, that is why he is cheating on me, he likes certain kind of women…..

He used to make me feel so womanly, but lately I feel nothing like an object just living with him….I miss being touched like a woman, touch my body, make me feel good all over, I miss that, I have not felt that in so long, I crave it, see it on tv and get sad, because I want to be touched like that as well, deep passionate love making…..so my mind wonders….now I understand why some women do chat on their husband’s, it is not right, not saying that, but I understand…and sometimes I think about it to…wanting to be touched, and have a passionate love making, where he totally touches you every where, kisses you so deeply, touches every fiber of your body, and not just focus on one part…there is more to a woman’s body than just her pussy!! we have a whole body to be touched…and I miss it, never really had it before, where a man touches you all over, and makes you feel like a woman and a half….so my mind wonders about having an affair, desperate to be touched, and fucked really good, but then my conscience takes over and I cannot do that to my husband, even though he is doing it to me, so it is a battle.

Because my husband cheating, I am thinking about leaving the marriage…it honestly has been over in a lot of areas for along time, so leaving has been on my mind. If I do, never will I be in another relationship….be on my own and have some serious fun!!!!!

I have been going on dating websites for just about 2 years now. Deep down I want to find that love of my life but I know that I probably will not find him on a site like Plenty of Fish or Adult Friend Finder. Really the guys on there are out to find one thing. SEX!! You talk to all these girls that complain that they can’t find anyone as all men want is sex and they are a bunch of pigs. But really some women are there just to have sex too.

Yep I said it. Women are on those sites to have sex too. I am one of them. No one knows but I am on that site to drive men nuts. I will talk to a guy, flirt with him, make him want me …. and then never deliver. Yep. I love getting guys hot and horny and then giving them nothing. I want to know that they are out there wanting me.

Every so often though I get so turned on myself that I will meet one of them and have sex with them but I will never talk to them again. I will change my profile, my email, etc just so I don’t have to talk to them again. Although I would probably keep their names if they were good in bed but I am still waiting to find that. I guess a part of me enjoys being a little slut as everyone sees me as such a good girl.