I advocate feminism and work for a law firm that devotes in this cause. I have a secret. As a feminist I have always been terrified to admit even to people I’m intimate with that I enjoy rape fantasies. There is something about it that excites me like nothing else. The idea of loosing control and being used as a “sex toy” for someone’s pleasure at his will is something intoxicating.

This fantasy of being raped is not new. Even as a kid and teenager a lot of my sexual awakenings were disturbing in that I was more of a victim than a willing and curious girl. I was raped and forced to perform sexual acts. It’s not that I ever want to actually be raped and I’m not even really interested in roleplaying it but I do love to fantasize about it.

In those fantasies I’m vulnerable and fearful for my life. I’m always locked in a cage or a windowless room and forced into doing anything my captor wants, until I’m sobbing from exhaustion. Until my captor is satisfied with me and until my captor is done using me!