I am 23 years old living in Portland, Oregon. I was an escort at 18 making 500-1500 a day depending on the time and what the client wanted. I only did it for 6 months but those 6 months were the lowest point of my life. I was kicked out of my house with no money, no places to live. I was desperate to get myself together and survive the real world. So I became an escort. I heard from my friends how escort lifestyle was fun and glamorous, but I had no idea how much I was hurting myself. I would get drunk or high before any “date” and would silently cry during the dirty deed. I would only think about the money. I hated how addicting the money was, but I just kept giving myself away to these dirty men who didn’t understand and didn’t care about what I me. I still cannot forgive myself for those few months of escorting and I don’t think I ever will. I regret everything about being an escort. I’m with my boyfriend now of 2 years and he has no idea what I’ve done and I could never tell him. What hurts me the most is how amazing he is and how much he loves me and how perfect he thinks I am. I completely disrespected myself and my body. I feel dirty all the time. I wish I was not an escort.

I’m a 22 year old male.
I have a very intense and dirty sexual fantasy.
I always wanted to get pretty violent with an escort chick (with her consent of course).

My biggest fantasy is a rape fantasy with a thick blonde, a tall and athletic woman with some thick legs…who has some considerable strength to fight back.
I just want it to be very realistic, and the idea of struggling against her really turns me on.

I want her to resist, I’m okay with not hitting her but I want her to get very violent…punching, slapping, scratching, kicking…
I know that some women can really hurt me, and it turns me on so much…
However I don’t want to go too far if things get ugly, because I don’t want to get injured.

If I win the struggle and nautralize her, or if I loose the struggle (honestly I really want it to happen), then we would proceed to sex…