I love my wife and our sex live is good but I fantasize about being with a man. Even to just jerckoff together like in a public restroom or something. Its hard living in a small town like Vanderhoof because you know every one.
Posts Tagged ‘Vanderhoof’
I have been married to my husband for 3 years, have a beautiful girl together, living in Victoria, and my secret is that my husband raped me, or at least that is how I feel. He took advantage of me and, despite my protests, raped me. I stared at the ceiling while he held me down and prayed for it to be over. I don’t know why but that night we were fooling around after our daughter went to bed. All of a sudden I just didn’t want to do anything. I know I lead him onto it but still I thought he would stop when I said no. I haven’t told anyone about this till now. I don’t have any friends because I moved here from Vanderhoof with my husband. I left all my friends and family back there and no one to talk about this. A lot of people have asked, if I’d ever been abused or taken advantage of sexually and I can’t bring myself to admit that I have been raped by my husband. I want so badly to believe that I am one of those women who’d never been raped or abused. Just now I’m realizing how much it affects me all the time. I can’t concentrate. I don’t feel anything for my husband but I used to love him with my life. I don’t even know if this is rape or not. A part of me thinks it’s not the other part thinks it is. I tried to tell myself that he is my husband, so he had the right, but I feel like he took something I can’t get back. I can’t bring myself to admit that he had that power over me. I wish I could come to at peace with it. It may lead us to divorce. He did apologize about it after but still that is not enough. We had full-filling sex after the incident too but still that incident really messes me up.
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I am a happily married father in my mid-40′s, but for the last 25 years I have had a secret sexual fantasy about one of my best friends from high school. Other than a clumsy, drunken attempt twenty years ago to get him to let me go down on him, I have never exposed my true feelings. Either he forgets or he has chosen to never mention it.
As I have aged, what was once a simple fantasy has become more of a yearning. I can’t remember the last time I had a sex dream that he didn’t star in. I frequently wake up at night with a raging erection, having dreamed about the two of us together. Remembering the dream, I have to masturbate in order to get back to sleep. Sometimes I dream we are overcome with raw passion for each other, but most often we have very tender, loving sex – taking our time to please each other and enjoying the moment, exploring each others bodies.
I wish I could work up the courage to make another attempt, but I value his friendship too much. We live in different cities now, but every time I see him I get turned on.
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I’ve recently started using dating websites like Plenty of Fish and at first I thought I wanted to make friends or possibly find a boyfriend, but more and more I’m realizing that all I want is to have sex with random men. I had a date with a guy from Vanderhoof that ended with us having sex in the back of my car and we got together again this weekend for what we both convinced ourselves was going to be a weekend of “getting to know you” time, but really ended up as close to 24 hours of sex. We barely left our room. It was amazing. The sex itself was pretty vanilla, no secret handshakes or special moves, but the idea that we were in a b & b to just have sex was thrilling. Knowing that we would part in the morning, for who knows how long, made every thrust seem more urgent. We had sex for hours, would doze or cuddle and then go again. His touch was soft and he was gentle with me when we needed gentle and urgent and raw when we needed urgency. There was no real talking, just touch, in the dark. There was no need for talk.
It was really nice to just be wanted for my body! And I really only wanted the guy for his body, I didn’t care about his hopes or his dreams, or the content of his character. All I wanted was his cock. And he gave it to me, all night long.
Now, I don’t know if I should keep looking for random hook ups or not. I really enjoyed myself this weekend (over, and over, and over) but it’s against my entire up bringing and values to search out random sex.
I’m still nervous about setting things up on my own, but I’d probably say yes if someone asked me and the chemistry was there. Attraction is instinctual and not necessarily intellectual. You can have tender, gentle sex or raw, urgent sex with someone you don’t feel intellectually compatible with, I know, I just did.
I always wanted to get this off my chest. So here it is. My secret is that my husband doesn’t know I’m an exhibitionist. We live in Vanderhoof. He is 16 years older than me, very conservative, old fashioned, and we are very active in our church. As a result, always dress modestly. But, when I’m away from home on business, I find many ways to show much more skin than he would approve of. I sometimes leave my hotel room curtains “accidentally” open a little and dry myself off in front of the window after shower, or I find ways to “accidentally” flash myself when wearing a skirt. I have even visited an out of town nude beach before when I went to Vancouver, I walked around topless there. He has no idea that I love the look on the guys when I flash at them. He would flip out if he knew how many people have seen me naked or at least part of me. He doesn’t even like me to wear a bikini in public, always a one-piece which is no fun. I am young and adventurous. I hope he never finds out. Someday I want to take my video nude and post it on the Internet.