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I confess I am not religious enough

I have never been to church or to any service. I have several friends that go to a variety of different churches. One of my children attends youth group. That I encourage. I know very little about the bible, god, religions and such. I also cannot decide if I believe in evolution or that god created us. Lately a good friend has been encouraging me to attend church. I have debated it many times in my life. I also feel though that I have never attended what makes me think now that I suddenly belong or fit in to an organized religion. I have beliefs, I have morals, and I treat others with kindness. I do not think that not attending church is going to make me less of a person. I often wonder though am I not giving my children the option or choice to make, to decide for themselves if church is something they would like in their life. I am confused at what I should do. I often see church as a place of judgment. Enough people judge me already I don’t need to attend a building where everyone would. Then again maybe it would make me a better person, more understanding, to have something to believe in. So the debate goes on in my head. I would go in an instant if someone such as my child, or my husband wanted to go. I just have not had the drive to make the move on my own. My other fear is I don’t want to become a person that cannot function without god. You know those people that think everything they do or have is because of their love of god or is god’s will. Everything I have or do is because of my drive, desire, wants, needs, and beliefs. Not someone controlling what I do. So the great debate lies, is church for me. Or will I continue life being the best person I can without organized religion judging who I am.

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