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My secret fantasy

I am a happily married father in my mid-40’s, but for the last 25 years I have had a secret sexual fantasy about one of my best friends from high school. Other than a clumsy, drunken attempt twenty years ago to get him to let me go down on him, I have never exposed my true feelings. Either he forgets or he has chosen to never mention it.

As I have aged, what was once a simple fantasy has become more of a yearning. I can’t remember the last time I had a sex dream that he didn’t star in. I frequently wake up at night with a raging erection, having dreamed about the two of us together. Remembering the dream, I have to masturbate in order to get back to sleep. Sometimes I dream we are overcome with raw passion for each other, but most often we have very tender, loving sex – taking our time to please each other and enjoying the moment, exploring each others bodies.

I wish I could work up the courage to make another attempt, but I value his friendship too much. We live in different cities now, but every time I see him I get turned on.

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