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I don’t fit in anywhere

My story is probably one that not many would guess. I live in a small town and have for many years. I am happily married with children. I have a great job and am in my opinion and others, good at what I do. I secretly feel like a failure at times. We have many friends and I appear to be popular. I however always have the feeling that I really do not fit in. I don’t have really close girlfriends. I have friends that are girls but I am not the one that they would call first for a girls weekend away, or a night out on the town. I am also too shy to phone and ask them to go out. No one that knows me thinks I am shy but deep down I am. I always worry about what people think of me, yet appear to be very confident. I also am amazed when someone else may say I am pretty, or amazing. I just do not see it. I wish I could overcome this about myself. I have friends that seem to display so much confidence that they think they are a movie star or super model. I just cannot be that way, yet I wish I was somewhat more sure of my skills, my looks, and my other qualities. I feel at times I am being left out of many things due to my reluctance at fitting in. I just wish I could be someone else at times.


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