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Posts Tagged ‘lost virginity to friend’

Sexually unsatisfied young adult

Monday, September 9th, 2013

I must admit, my sexual desires probably started after being assaulted at a very young age. Ever since then I have explored myself in more ways than one. But I never lost my virginity until I was 15 years old, I am ashamed to say that I used a good friend of mine and gave him my virginity. Not having the best life in school, being teased and tormented throughout the years, being told I would die alone, a virgin, no one around me to care about me or anyone who would even cry at my death… Being the sky child I was, I believed it. So I took my childhood friend to my house before lunch at school, and told him to fuck me. I knew he would since I knew he has had a crush on me for the longest time. He still does and still wants to be with me, even though he is in a great relationship with 3 adorable children.

But I think in the few sexual relationships I have had, there has only been one guy who has ever really pleasured me, and because of that I have major feelings for him that I just cant get rid of. And trust me, I have tried. We talk just about every day and we goof around a lot. Not that his girlfriend knows.

With my unsatisfying sexual life though… Whenever I am out somewhere I people watch. I think to myself, is that someone I’d fuck? I fantasize about the things they could do to me, seeing a group of nice looking guys, my fantasies cause me to ruin a couple pairs of panties. The only thing is, I am still a shy person, I felt I was never really allowed to socialize during my school years, make many friends, hang out with friends, join school or after school clubs, since my parents shared custody of me. I lived with my mom all of my childhood life and I would visit my dads on weekends. Taking away any time I would have had to go to events or parties. I feel sexually unsatisfied.