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I regret I was an escort!

I am 21 year old female now living in Vancouver. I was an escort at 18 when I was in Prince George and then moved to Nanaimo making 600-1000 a day. I only did it for 8 months but those eight months were the lowest, most depressing 8 months of my life. I was kicked out of my house, thrown out into the real world with no money, just desperate to get myself together. My step mom and dad both threw me out just before Christmas and it was cold and I was totally broken. I considered stripping, but I was stage-shy and the places in Prince George were not classy for stripping. Then I decided that escorting would be more private and more money. I had no idea how much I was hurting myself or how I was ruining my future. I would get drunk or high before any “date” and would silently cry during the dirty deed. I was not associated with any agencies in town like thekaliproject or blackorchid. I would use Craigslist to find people. I have been with married guys, single guys or guys who just wanted to get off. I have been with old, young, middle-aged guys too. Most of the encounters happened in cars or in a motel room. I realized within few days I would be regretting it, but the money would temporarily cheer me up, until I would have to do it again.

At the time I didn’t feel anything but now I realize I hated how addicting the money was, but I just kept giving myself away to these dirty men who didn’t understand and didn’t care about what I was going through.  I then moved to Nanaimo for a change of scenery. But it was same old same old. I found older guys, married guys, and younger guys looking to get off quickly by using me at their convenience. I know I put myself in the position, but I was just young and careless. If I knew how it was going to affect me psychologically and emotionally, and that it was going to eventually leave me with STD, of course I wouldn’t have done it. I completely disrespected myself, my body. I feel dirty no matter how many times I shower. I can never forget what I did and I can really never forgive myself.

This is my story. I hope before you chose this life style please think. Times can be tough at times but be true to yourself.

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One Response to “I regret I was an escort!”

  1. Ingrid carol Says:

    I was also an escort, i did it for a few months, with an agency in Vancouver.
    I didnt think it was so aweful, i didnt like it, but it took me many months, before all the signs of damage started showing up. I have had the same bf for over two years, I told him about ir right away. and he got me away from it. He saved me.
    But i still have difficulties being intimate, and close with him physically. I hope im not the only one who feels like that.
    It haunts me. i want to erase it, but you cant. it creeps up on you when u least expect it 🙁
    i would say to any young girls out there, to really really think about it.
    I thought i was a really strong person, and it was only temporary, but the damage is there, and who knows when it will go away.

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