Since I was a little girl I have always been the good girl. I secretly wish that this tag was never stuck on my small little back. From those early days I have done nothing but please other people, live up to their expectations and do my best to be the “good” daughter. It has honestly made me regret being the first born. It is true most parents expect their first born to live up to unattainable goals. My parents never imposed unrealistic career goals, or superstar of a sports team. Yet here I was the “good” daughter. Never breaking the rules. Never staying out past curfew. Never drinking or doing drugs. Never letting them down. My sister on the other hand has done all of this. She has lived how she wants to. She has tried most everything, broke most rules and lived to experience the other side. The side I never ventured. I have secrets, grown up secrets that of course I could never share. Still to this day my sister calls me “goodie goodie”. Not giving citizen, supportive sister, fantastic mother, virtuous daughter or helpful friend. No it is “goodie goodie”. A name I despise. A name that does not do justice to all the sacrifices I have made over the years to be the “bigger” person as my parents would say when she was not getitng her way. So what is my secret? I love my sister, well that is no secret I kind of have to. My secret is that sometimes I wish I could be her, to be the one to get away with everything. To be the one that does not have to calm the storms but makes them. The one that does the best she can, and does not have to be the BEST!

I am a married woman. I have had a few sexual adventures that my husband has been part of. I had one awhile back that I just cannot get out of my head. It was the best sex I have ever had. Yes you heard me the BEST! I am a pretty honest person so I told my hubby is was great. I did not say the best. I love him(my husband) but I don’t want to break his heart or his ego. So I still continue to tell him he is the best. He is fantastic don’t get me wrong. But WOW this other guy..does things to my body I did not think was possible. The sensations are amazing to the point I am craving it 24/7. Unfortunately it is more like twice a year. So I continue living my daily life, having a healthy sexual relationship with my husband. Yet, sometimes when we are in the moment, the blankets are a shambles on the floor, and the sweat is pouring off our bodies, I fantasize about that other guy and the incredible way his body connected with mine. MMMmmmmm.

This happened in the prairies. I want to get it off of my chest. I am in my 40s and have been in a long term relationship, good job, kids all of that. A typical middle class man who seems to be doing well but who has a secret he needs to get off of his chest.

I was 16. Very straight and I hung around with friends who were not gay or bi. As with most 16 year old males all I was interested in was girls. Although I am attractive in that girls have always fallen all over me, I was not seeing anyone, nor had I slept with a woman. That creates a lot of frustration. Not out of control, masturbation is a wonderful thing.

I was working at a retail store and was approached by a man who I would guess was in his late 30s or early 40s at the time. I had just turned 16. The man spent a lot of time with me asking me questions about the merchandise. I had no idea he was gay. I had no idea that he was scouting me out for seduction. I did not see anything coming. He ran a DJ business. He asked if I would like a job helping him setting up his equipment when he had gigs. I was very entrepreneurial and simply did not turn jobs down. I said I was interested and he took my name and number.

He called and asked me to come to his house for an interview. It was a little weird, although he was in his late 30s or early 40s, he lived in his parents’ basement. I went downstairs into his bedroom which was quite large, having 2 beds along a long wall and lots of space. No couches so you sat on a bed. Again, I was 16 and had no idea what was coming. Very naive. I don’t even remember talking about the job, although I got it (no kidding). He asked me if I know about what I think was the Forum section of Penthouse magazine which contains erotic stories. I did know and he pulled out some Penthouse magazines and had me read some particularly hot stories of men fucking women. All hot for me as I was into women. I also ended up looking at naked pictures of women in the magazines and was getting hornier and hornier which of course was his plan. I assume now that he knew how to seduce teenage boys. Get them really really horny by reading erotic stories of heterosexual sex and by looking at really hot naked women. Then use that sexual arousal.

I was getting hotter and hotter. My penis was really hard and uncomfortable in my pants. He was sitting on one bed, except for when he was bringing me a magazine to look at. I was sitting on another bed. Hang on I am taking a sip of wine as I need to be a bit buzzed to share this. That’s better. Once he got me to a high state of arousal, he asked if I had seen a person (I forget his name) who had a really large cock. I said no and he pulled out a magazine of men, probably a Playgirl but I can’t say now, with pictures of this guy with a cock that was like a foot and a half long non-erect. Indeed, there were no pics of him with an erection but that is not the point. Now this guy who is in the process of seducing me has me really aroused and looking at pictures of a naked man. Something I had never done. I am now looking at naked men with big cocks when I am super aroused. He then asked if I had ever had sex with a man. I had had the typical couple of adolescent encounters with male friends. A couple of blow jobs and one instance of anal sex. Years distant. I shared this now unbearably aroused which led him to his final question. Would I like to have sex with a man again. I did not even hesitate to say yes I was soooo very aroused. I mean my cock was throbbing I was so hot from the erotic stories and naked pictures. We both undressed. I remember thinking as I was pulling my pants down and then off, how hot I was feeling and that this seemed a little unreal.

He had me lay down on the bed, naked. He started running his hands over my body, my ass, my legs, hugging me, grabbing my cock. I had never cuddled anyone before or had foreplay. The few adolescent encounters were just down to it (blow job or the one anal – sorry there was some minimal caressing when an older friend took my ass the one time). Anyway, I found him grabbing me weird, foreign just because I had not experienced it before. I see now that from his perspective he was an unattractive older man (not kidding on unattractive bit) who had landed a catch, a really hot (no kidding I was the hot alpha male of my teenage peers – I am not embellishing for this confession), and was savoring it (me) before the finish.

After the touching and caressing which I was uncomfortable with, he guided me to suck his cock. Being that this is a confession, I was so hot and aroused that I was fully willing for him to put his cock into my ass and had gotten on all fours for him to do that. As it turned out this gay guy was not into anal sex, just oral, so he guided me to suck his cock. Confession – I would have liked at the time for him to give it to me up the ass, that is what I thought he meant by sex, but that was not what he was into. So he directed me to take his cock into my mouth while he laid on his back. I have a vivid memory of that. Before he came he told me he was coming and directed me to take my mouth off of his cock as he was worried about coming in my mouth due to my inexperience. I followed his direction and he came onto his stomach and chest. Then he had me lay on my back and he put his lips over my cock and started sucking.

It felt really good to have my cock in his mouth. I was so fucking aroused and hot and he gave good head and the orgasm was…can only be described as hot. It was a great release.

After I got dressed and left. I had been so conditioned to be homo-phobic that I felt very very guilty over what had happened. I blamed myself and put myself through a lot of guilt and grief at the time. Literally felt despondent. I did end up working for him but because of the guilt I made it clear I would not sleep with him again and I never did.

Until the past couple of years, I felt that I was to blame for what happened. It literally took me decades to understand that I was not to blame. I had been seduced by an older man who knew exactly what he was doing. He was the hunter. I was the prey. He had a successful hunt.

The odd thing is that now I am not bitter at all. Indeed, the memory is erotic for me. I am in a heterosexual relationship but find the memory of that gay seduction satisfying and arousing. I notice that not many people actually comment on stories posted on this site. If you found this interesting I really would like some feedback. On the one hand I now recognize that there is nothing wrong with sexual pleasure and that the man seducing me found me hot and simply wanted to have me. On the other hand, I did not see it coming, would not have gone there knowing he wanted to seduce me, and was the perfect seduction target in that I did not see any of it coming until after I had been seduced. I do not like power imbalance language but there certainly was an experience imbalance. He did not say he found me hot, was gay, and was intent on seducing me. He used employment as a pretext and got me naked and in bed before I knew what was happening. Is it wrong to know find that okay?

I am an older woman…but still holding the sharp looks and body for my age. I am married, have been for the last 5 years. But not really happy in the marriage. It is a complicated mess. We went through a rough patch a while. The intimacy stopped, so I thought he was cheating. Saw him on tons of escort and sex sites, and what not…with our intimacy issues for sure thought he was cheating, so I crossed my own line with a woman. Did not do her all the way, but close enough. I felt so dead, unwanted in my marriage, not touched the way I craved, my husband is an exceptional lover, but do not think he is enough for me. We have done the threesomes, as I am a Bi female as well….but it was fun at first, then it was not fun anymore, he would do things to her that he does not do with me, it became uncomfortable, and then such a need in the relationship.

So I told him I did not want to do it any more, the threesomes, even though I loved them, the rush of it all, but he was not really being equal in them, she would get all the attention, and I barely got touched…so we quit, and it was like he was punishing me for that….said I broke the deal…there was no deal made here, he loved the fact that I was Bi, said he always wanted a GF/ Wife like that, but there was no deal made here, so he was angry and disappointed, he gives them all the attention, and not me, kind of bored doing me for the last 5 years, and now something new what was happening, so it made me uncomfortable…and that is when everything changed, our sex like dropped, big time, we barely had sex….he blamed it on stress, not in the mood, the list goes on……

I confessed to him what I had did, crossed the line with a woman, he was (and still is) angry with me, said I hurt his man pride and esteem doing that….I actually went there to meet her not to sleep with her, but for us, thought maybe it would pull us back together, but it has not, and well things happened….I was torn about it, never cheated on any partner before, or done anything like that….but in his anger, he did not care to hear what it has done to me, it tore me bad he was hurt over as well….never wanted to hurt him!!

Our relationship is a hard one, he is very, very emotionally disconnected, old school, where the woman stands behind, and he supports her, well I do not like standing behind, wanted to be right beside him, yes he does work hard and make a lot of sacrifices indeed, but I always have to go to him for money, being my current job is lousy, only a few days to a full pay period, but he gets so angry with me, and it is tearing us apart…….

I am not sure I want the marriage any more, half of me does, the other half does not. I want my own money and bank account and not have to rely on him all the time, I am not getting enough out of him sexually, we do the same stuff over and over, want more, but he cannot give it, I am sexually restless, and not sure why, never been like this before, He has done all these wild and crazy sexual things with ex-girlfriends and escorts that he has been with…but will not do them with me, we do the same positions over and over, I want more sex, wilder, want to feel alive again, I just feel like an empty shell here, There are too many issues with the marriage to list. I am thinking about leaving and just being on my own, I have thought about becoming an escort, to have extra money, and have what I want sexually, feel very selfish saying all these things, but it is tearing me inside to continue the way I am…very confused right now. I have my own bills to pay off, and they are not getting done. My husband carries the heavy front of the house hold bills, so things are tight after he does that, so he does not have a lot extra money to give to me if I need something, so I want to make my own money, not sure what I am going to do….my head is full of confusion!!

I have a very complicated situation on my hands. I cannot believe what I have allowed myself to fall into, out of desperation, and not being satisfied enough.

I am married, have been the last 7 years. I love my husband so very much, he sacrifices everything to make sure people around him have everything, and asks very little of himself. But the marriage is a hard one. I have a crappy job, I only get a few days to a full pay period, hate it, so I have to rely on him for money if I need something, I hate it!! he pays the heavy, heavy bills, mortgage, utilities, there was a time I would give him one third of my pay checks to help out, well can’t do that anymore because my work has been so slow…..I have been stressing and depressing about this, wanting a better job and what not, wanting my own money so I do not have to rely on him, he does not understand that, and thinks I should be happy that he looks after me. Well I do not want to be “looked after” I want to help just as much, and have my own money when I need something, and not take it from him…feel guilty because he pays out so much, and feels like I am taking whatever money he does give me away from something he could be paying off.

The other part of the marriage that is hard ….. he is very disconnected. We have no real communication. He hates feelings and emotions, and hates when I display them, or talk about them, so we close up …. He gets angry, stresses out, everyone gets it, especially me, he gets cold and nasty…then apologizes like it is nothing. I tell him it hurts me when he talks to me like that, but he continues ….. We are getting along now, pretending there is nothing wrong, when there is so much wrong with this marriage. He has been married few times before me, and every marriage has had the same issues, cold and disconnection from him.

The other half is that I am not getting a lot of sexual fulfillment from him. We hardly have sex. He is on the road a lot due to his work, and I think and feel he has cheated on me while he is away. I would never know, but think he has….we have no real intimacy…he does not touch me like a man should, I want him to make me feel alive like he once did, but he does not, I am not getting enough from him…..in the process of me accusing him of cheating on me, I cheated on him with a woman ( I am a Bi female) he was hurt and crushed and punished me for it with his ways.

Well I am now doing the one thing that will destroy us forever….I am a Private escort while he is out of town, for one I want to make extra money so I do not have to take it from him all the time (as things are tight) want my own money and bit of freedom, and I am not getting enough sexual needs from him…we do the same things over and over, same positions over and over, we do not change it up….I want to play with him and be his personal little slut kind of thing, but we never get there. I love my husband, but I am not getting enough from him, and what I am doing is so wrong. It makes me sick, but I cannot stop, half of me does, the other half will not let me. I gear the nights I work when he is away, and when he is home, I shut things off….it is maddening, I have never been so driven to this feeling of where I need more sex, and cheating on my husband with other men to get that, eventually I have to leave, and stop doing this to him, it will destroy him in the end….I have never, never been the kind of girl to ever cheat on any partner, or be so sexually hungry where it is driving me to cheat on one before like this!!