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The first time I was introduced to sex

When people start to talk about their childhoods, I just sit back and listen. I never tell stories about my past and what it was like for me growing up. When people ask I just say that I have a poor memory and that I can’t remember much. But the honest truth is I don’t want to remember. I have tried so hard to not remember things from my past but it doesn’t seem to work. I close my eyes and it all comes rushing back to me. At one point I told myself that I was just remembering things from a movie that it didn’t really happen to me but for some reason that hasn’t worked. I can remember everything so clearly it haunts me. I know that lay out of the room. Where the couch was, where the lazy boy chair sat, and where he was sitting when it happened. I was only 5 at the time and I am not sure why but my mom left me home alone with my sister’s boyfriend. I remember he was sitting on the chair and calling me into the living room. He asked me if I wanted to have a drink. I asked him what kind of drink and he said that it would be sweet and white like milk. All I would have to do is suck on his friend and the drink would come out. I have never told anyone this before. I have never told my mom as I know that it would kill her. I have kept it my little secret for years as I felt that no one would believe me. To this day I will not tell as I am sure it would hurt someone if I did.

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