I have a deep dark secret that I cannot confess to anyone but only to somewhere like here where no one will know my identity. I am in love with another man. I am married but secretly crave, desire, and wish I was with another man. He is so sexy, charming and makes me feel incredible. I wish I could hold him every moment and make a life with him. I know I could never end my marriage or disrupt my family life. So I just fantasize. I desire him and wish that some day in the future or in another place or in another life he and I will be together. I, sometimes, curse my life and wonder why it has dealt me this hand. Why did I have to be introduced to him to show me what I could not have? I will go on and continue my normal happy life but secretly wishing I could be with him.

I have a secret fantasy that no one is aware of. I am married and have had fun through different personal advertisement sites, such as Fling or Ashley Madison, meeting other men or couples. My latest experience has been one of intense pleasure that has taken me over the top many times. During the sexual interactions I secretly fantasize about a variety of things. One of the fantasies is being with this person using no protection during intercourse. I am aware of the implications this would cause and am concerned for my safety. The main reason though is I imagine him making me pregnant. To feel him inside of me and know that he and I are creating a life gets me off. I know it is supposed to be something intimate and shared between couples. Maybe that is the part of the fantasy, maybe I wish him and I were a couples. I don’t know the reason or why I get so turned on by the thought but deep down I wish it were reality. It is one of the things I wish I could experience.

I rent office space in a small office building. It consists of a well needed service within our community providing support to families. I have been within this office for the past three years. I have seen three executive directors of this organization in that time.

The first was determined with an understanding of company morale and equal opportunities. Then she left to be with her family more.

The next was a charmer, talked a big game but never followed through. Was found more often than not off on some meeting that no one ever know about. He had no social boundaries and often offended many of the employees with comments about their cultural background or religious beliefs. Needless to say he moved on to bigger and brighter things.

Now the office has a new executive director. One with a resume apparently quite impressive. Yet in my opinion a number of jobs within a short time frame. This would lead me to suspicion. He entered the organization, friendly, outgoing, welcoming and the signs of a great leader. Within a few months the tables have turned. He has hired a new manager that as sweet as she is, really knows little about her position. Yet as I would say “naive enough to follow suit”. He has begun to slowly eliminate postitions in order to hire new staff who in my opinion he can bully into his agenda.

My office has now become the local crying spot as the veteran staff come to me to release, vent and pour out their emotions as they see their careers coming to an end. He has now advertised and eliminated a position of one who has been here 17 years. Not giving her a chance as it is requiring a university degree, not something she is going to attain in her late 50’s. Basically stating that her job is no longer hers. Leaving her to grieve as how she will pay for her children’s university, her retirement, and her lifes needs. She is a hard worker and an effective employee, yet without a degree makes her not something this small town organization now is looking for. Another position filled by a qualified person with a degree and furthering education has been given 2 months to finish that education or their position is also given to another. After 10 years within the community providing stable care for families. Having established relationships, networks and a face in this small town. The outsider executive comes in causing this once free sailing ship with hard workers to quickly sink. Lives are being ruined, families are affected and his heart is missing. He is ruining what this small town has established. Bringing outsiders into our community who we all know will not stick around. Who we know will not establish that bond these steadfast, dedicated employees have built. The wool is being pulled over the communities eyes, the board of directors and the new employees. This man is a tyrant. This man is after one thing. Who can I impress. What can I do to change this small town, effective organization, to become big and fancy on paper. To build a great resume down the road for myself. So I can move and leave the once strong individuals that build this organization broken. Should I shout it to the rooftops. I don’t know.

For now it is something I keep to myself and be as much a support as I can to these poor down trodden individuals.

I have a secret that is really not mine to tell but it drives me nut that my friend will not tell the truth. I met my friend “Dave” about 7 years ago. We became friends right away. We laughed and had a great time together. He invited me over to his place the next night to have a drink with him. I did and we had a great time. I never did sleep with him but we have always talked about it and enjoy “playing” with each other.

When I first met him he told me he was single and at that point he was. However, he had already met a girl and knew he was going to marry her. He was taking a “year off” from dating and wanted to have fun sowing his seeds. I have never met her nor do I think I ever will. You see Dave and I still “play” once in awhile. He has now been with her for 6 years and they have been married for about 2 years. And they are now having the first baby.

My problem is that he is still running around on her and she has no clue that it is happening. His job takes him out of town all the time and he has a girl in each town he visits. I use to be one as we lived in different towns for a while but now I live in the same town so I have not gotten together with him. He always bugs me about going to his office and giving him a BJ but I never do even though I want to. I don’t want to be the other woman.

I want to phone up his wife and ask her if she is really that dumb. She needs to know. She is going to raise a family with this guy. I love him as a friend and nothing more. I don’t want to be her nor do I want her life. I guess I am just sick of all these married guys I know running around on their wives. I feel like I should phone up Dave’s wife and all the other wives I know and tell them what their husbands are doing behind their backs.

About 4 years ago i was chatting with a friend of mine, what I thought was a friend. I then realized it was a buddy of his that was over at his house on his messenger. We started chatting and I added him as a friend. We continued to chat for a bit and the discussion turned sexual. He knew that I was married but that my husband and I at times would have fun. One thing led to another and I do not recall how it happened but I went over to his house one night and we had sex. My husband was aware. We obviously enjoyed it because we continued to do it. It was not until about month three that I realized he was alot younger than I. He looked older and I did not think of asking. Age does not matter I guess. Both of us continued to have fun. We enjoyed a threesome with my husband a few times. We have continued to see each other occassionally for the past four years. It is exciting and turns both myself, him and my husband on. It is a perfect relationship. It brings excitement to my marriage and helps him release some sexual tension. In the past year we have also begun to cuddle afterwards and talk about the stresses of life. I hope he finds a great girl soon, but then again will be sad that our arrangement will end. Until then I will enjoy the fantastic sex and the convenient arrangement. It must be good when he is ten years my junior and keeps coming back for more. Lucky for me. Thats how my friend became my friends with benefits.