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I want to cheat on my boyfriend: Young, in a relationship and confused

I’m with a guy but I want to be with another guy, I want to leave him and be with this guy but I can’t hurt him like that, it will break his heart and he doesn’t deserve it. I haven’t felt the same way about him for a while now but then I started talking to a friend that I have known for about 2 years. We went out together for a short period of time but we live a fair distance away so it was hard and i was young and didn’t want any commitment at the time. We didn’t talk for a while. Until a few months ago we started talking again and I realized how much I have missed him. I think I love him but i can’t break my boyfriend’s heart. Every time I tell him I love him, that he is beautiful, even when we are in each other’s arms it breaks me inside cause I know it’s just a lie. Even though I do feel for him it’s just not the same as it was once. I guess if you can fall in love you can fall out of it right? I am going to see this other guy in a few weeks. I think I’m going to cheat on my bf I’ve never cheated before and I don’t really want to but I would if I can help myself I just want to be in this guy’s arms so bad. I’m so confused I don’t know what to do

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